...never doing what we wanted. and i'm tired of it.

haven't been doing anything at all useful lately...

jake made chocolate cupcakes the other day. the peanut butter frosting that he made for them might be the best thing in my life,ever.

no real plans for anything productive...the only things that i have 'gotten done' lately,include everything involved in christmas-ing.
we got another(cross fingers that the cats won't kill this one) living christmas tree. yes,christmas trees make me happy. especially when they're potentially forever,as opposed to killing one every year. it's less tall than last year's so maybe the cats won't knock it iver,though,they've already started to unwrap mom's and stan's christmas gifts. oops.

they say it's christmas

i made actual ginger-snaps tonight,as opposed to the gigantic ginger cookies that our company that we had in pdx made/makes...it's a pretty big surprise for my mouth to have them be so snappy.
i also made 'butter-cream' frosting for them...it would have bee 100% better had i had food coloring;they would have been actually decorated,instead of just overly-frosted. either way,they're delicious and sugar-coma-inducing.
made an ice-cream sandwich with 2 ginger snaps, the remaining chocolate made with coconut milk-ice cream (new and delicious from purely decadent) and all covered in frosting. jake and i are unbelievably gross.

ginger snap
cookie dough

3 c flour
1/4 t salt
1 t baking soda
2 t ginger
1 t cinn.
1/4 tnutmeg
1/4 t clove
1/2 c non-dairy butter
3/4 c sugar
1 1/2 t egg replacer
2/3 c molasses
2 T water

buttercream frosting
1/2 c non-dairy butter
2 c confectioner's sugar
1 1/2 t vanilla
2 T milk(non-dairy,duh)

in actuality, this is far too much frosting for the the amount of cookies, but in real life,jake eats at least 2 tablespoons of it and you can never have too much sugar-y goodness,right? so yeah,if i were to go at this project again, i would half the frosting recipe...so as to not be forced into frosting eating,which doesn't sound so so terrible,but might be the reason for the involuntary trembling that i am beginning to feel.

sleepy smile

2 nights ago(yes,i'm timely with EVERYTHING), i made pumpkin ravioli. it was really yummy. i know that i am biased,and in my head, anything would've tasted good at that point,(it was very time consuming/labor intensive)but jake thought that it was really good too.

so much pumpkin puree left! i want to make a bunch of pumpkin ravioli and freeze them. i'll have to psyche myself up for that project...

also going to make a pie for thanksgiving at mom's,which daniel won't actually make it to(which is too bad since last year my kind of questionably good pie was 80% eaten by him because he thought it was fine.) although,he's coming up the next day,and i'm not anticipating the pie being iffy this time.

i've been looking for those tiny jars that come in like pepperidge farm sausage/jam/gross collections,but cannot find anything even remotely similar...

the end of tragic comedy.

applesauce
cranberry sauce
grape jam/jelly
tomato sauce
apple butter
raspberry jam
strawberry jam
apple jelly
blackberry jelly
jalapeno jelly
pickles
salsas


all (among a zillion things that i could list) possibilities. found the preserving book. now,what to do?

to process things, i make lists,always have. i think that i get it from my mom,who also makes tons of lists. i have to stop myself from putting the list that i've made,detailing my plans for christmas-presenting,since there's always the possibility of this being read by someone who's made it on the list...

back to brainstorming and internet searching...

turn away from all the rough spots.

ordered more canning stuff. christmas presents-here we come!!

besides the jam i've already made,that took a spectacularly long time and amount of materials,what should i make for presents?

salsa seems like a good option,but i'm not sure about the whole process.

perhaps i should just look through the preserving book for ideas...now i just have to remeber where i put it...

stan asked me yesterday if i had heard any gunshots,since it's now deer season,and until last night,i had not. just heard them again, at least right now it's light out. there's nothing smarter than shooting people's faces off in the dark...so,mom and stan should be getting some baby deer again,soon. it's sad. but they are cute.

deimos just came inside covered in snow! her teeny-tiny tail was all fat and snowy. she was almost cute.(but don't tell anyone i said that!)

not interested.

used the remaining cranberries to make more pumpkin cranberry muffins. to be kept away from cat lips,this time...it's really satisfying to grow a pumpkin,make it into puree and then eat a pumpkin muffin,made from it.
i am craving pumpkin/squash ravioli. would it be totally ridiculous to make ravioli from scratch? it seems incredibly involved. but,it would probably be well worth the trouble.

i ain't looking for answers...

i spent last evening(ALL of yesterday evening) puree-ing pumpkin...much like the apple butter,it's hella time-consuming,and would be SO MUCH BETTER if i had people to visit with while i did it. i mean, jake was there,he was just being spazzy and running around doing other things,which i totally understand. i wanted to make more pumpkin cranberry bread,but didn't even want to look at any more pumpkin last night. today. it's snowing,so a good day for baking.
we're also going to make some risotto. pumpkin spice risotto?

rancid is a good band,circa 'life won't wait' crazy to think that that album is well over 10 years old.

i'll be forever blue

about time that i got around to a dehydrating cranberry project. weird,but they turned out more crunchy than chewy. guess i'll have to research the appropriate way to do this kind of thing...

maybe today will include finally making pumpkin puree for various pumpkin-y projects,which include,but are not limited to:pumpkin pie and more pumpkin cranberry bread(that the cats are not allowed to chomp on this time)(chomp!)
should also freeze acorn squash,since we have so much. or maybe soup? pretty sure that one needs butternut squash for squash soup,but i dunno. squash.

fall is the best.

i'm babbling.

got a recipe from a vegnews or vegetarian times for pumpkin cranberry muffins. misplaced it. found another online:
2C flour
3/4 C sugar
1t baking soda
1/4 t salt
1t cinnamon
1/2 t ginger
1/4 t nutmeg
1C pumpkin puree
1 egg(egg replacer works...)
1/4 oil
1Cmilk
1Cranberries chopped
350 15-20 minutes.

was so good that our cats ate a lot of one that i left on the counter...

it seems really moist ,but it's done.

//the real hell of hell is that it is forever//

been so un-busy that i've been unable to even think about wanting to update this...big halloween last night...rastafariiiiii.

anyway.

row of garlic is exciting to think about/have. must do some research about onion planting.

also garden planning and consideration of gardening multiple places. let zucchini and pumpkin take over the left side of the yard...

we've already used about half of the tom. sauce that i froze from the tomatoes from the garden,and we had over a row of tom. plants...next year it'll totally be on with like 3 rows of tomatoes,at least.

the cats started eating the last cranberry pumpkin bread that i made,so i guess that means it's good...?? gross. gonna dehydrate some of the remaining cranberries to see if they replicate craisins of any sort...

still have a lot of pumpkin from the garden,so pumpkin pie will be happening soon...ish.

it's probably gonna be snowing on the regular soon.

then winter-projects will be in effect. i want to make cat and dog treats. 'zine stuff. reading. the last one isn't really a project,but,you know. i guess i could make whole yards full of creepy snowman animals,or something...except that i hate the snow b/c it makes me cold...and wet. so no.

more coffee. that's a project...right? just like getting dressed everyday,except that's a far more fun/eventful "project".

being a farmer in these clothes

planted bulbs yesterday. planted rhubarb and rose bushes today. the only things i have left are carnations and some other flower that i could neither pick out of a crowd(of flowers) or that i remember the name of,right now...
but it's cold,so i'm done for today.
speaking of being done...there are so many freakin' rocks in this yard/area,that it takes a special kind of person not to become really frustrated in about 3 minutes of trying to dig a hole of any sort...

attention-span=zero.

did a small entry yesterday,but with the weather,and our only non-dial-up connection being satellite, was thwarted in actually posting.

we got the trees planted the other day.

as well as everything except the flowery-bulbs. today.

made a cranberry pumpkin bread...well,muffins.

turned out good.

my attention span with everything has been non-existent.

snowsnowwsnosnow

potted the asparagus and strawberries yesterday. it's gonna be awhile before stan rototils the garden,though we already had snow happening last night into this morning,though no accumulation. plus strawberries should wait until spring to go outside.

going to get outside and plant some stuff today if it kills me,which, w/the recent weather,might be an occurance.

we finally had to turn on the heat...the main user of the propane that is freakin' expensive.
not managed to get anything curtain-like happening,which i really wanted to do to save on heating expenses. stupi stupid stupid. lazy.

we'll see in like an hour when it will be at the height of warmness.

hazelnut trees!

i've had the intention of getting all of the flowery-type-things that mom got us,in the ground for days,but i get discouraged every time b/c i start with the tiger lily plants that i should have put in 2 months ago,and the area in the front,near the road is rocky and rooty. i know that the others will be easier as the soil around the house is topsoil for about a foot or so,which should be fine.

janice will be here with mark and alex to visit colleges, like binghamton, in a few days...mom is already planning to put them to work digging holes for her to plant stuff. so,i will try to do the same.

mom/stan got us the kitchen table that i've wanted for months! kitchen nook!!

//prove you're different from the rest//

finally finally finally carved one pumpkin.
it now has a bat on it.
i will do the other one today. it will have a cat on it.


going to have a giant,pumpkin-patch next year.(saving the seeds)

some things that we will also have next year,thanks to my mom's cwazy ordering are: a hazelnut tree, cherry trees, rose bushes(what are we,back in portland?), lilac trees, lilies, asparagus, birch trees...and i don't currently remember what else,but i'll know later when i move my cold self to get more coffee. either way...wooo. oh. strawberries!

stan is almost done with the steps to the...porch/deck.

i feel like being lazy today...too bad i have to get all of that stuff from mom into the ground...not easy when your yard is apparently MADE of solid rock,like ours is. plus my hands have started to be in the perpetual state of cold that they will enjoy until about april...

fast cars,danger, fire and knives

yesterday we met with some ladies who jake works with to talk about project-y type-things. as usual,my awkwardness took over. it generally turned into what S.C.A.R meetings and such always turned into...we just managed to make all the weird,old, regular-dudes really uncomfortable...it's sort of like,when we went to see cub's band play and we were THE FREAKS. "punk" band at a skate shop...in elmira,oops.

surely hoping that we can meet again,hopefully somewhere more comfortable...

maybe some pumpkin carving today...

it's cold and fall-y.

i think that i'm not really made to be around people. that's why cats,jake,netflix and the interweb are my BEST FRIENDS. mostly cats right meow(and by cats i mean euronymous.)

//you can't consume much if you sit still and read books//

jalapeno jelly yesterday,finally.

it's very jelly-y. i might have added a little too much pectin...but it works.

we're in the market for more canning supplies.

i guess, on thursday we're finally meeting with the ladies who jake works with to talk about old-lady canning parties! and whatever else we can come up with besides booze-ing. not a book club! as it has been pointed out,we have enough trouble reading the pile of books that we already have...don't need more stress added to that unfortunate-ness.

nap-a-thon

got the fruit leather right this time! apple blackberry. the seeds are unfortunate...maybe next time i should strain those out...that sounds fun/potentially dangerous.

another small guy of tom. sauce.

2nd round of seitan jerky...we should try some with liquid smoke next time. and maybe something citrus-y.

stan has gotten almost all of the porch done! i want to have cat races. right now,there is just the outline of the porch.and the cats tip-toe around it to get to the door(they aren't used to using the side-door) and it's cute and i totally want to have races. even though he's a spaz and would probably cheat,i want euronymous to be my team captain. i wonder if i have a cat-track-suit in my cat-clothes collection? i'm thinking i would remember if i did...little cat-leg-warmers!!!
1-2-3-4 feel the burn!! okokok time to stop being crazy.

i finally gathered the sunflower seeds out of one of the big guys and aside from the seeds that i am saving to plants next year(i'm gonna plant a lot of sunflowers,everywhere) i've got about a quarter of a smarty-pants* to roast/eat/whatever one does with a ton of sunflower seeds. there are still like 3 big ones left standing,but i like watching the birds swoop down and eat the seeds,so i'm willing to let those go.
i need a nap.


*a smarty-pants is about a quart

//if you watch a river long enough,you'll see your own body float by.//

probably doing another batch of tomato sauce today...

kitchen table has changed so much!

holes dug for new porch/cat graves.

going to finish sewing the backpatch on my sweatshirt today...should i start sewing the sweatshirt that was cut off of me, back together? it's become more of a joke than anything,but it would be HILARIOUS if i was wearing a sweatshirt that the emts had to cut off of me. even more hilarious would be if i were wearing the pants...

i think planting the fruit orchard is going to happen today! peach and pear trees are all we have so far,but we'll see what happens.

pumpkin carving may also be happening.
it's time to get all halloween-y!

last night i made apple butter. it was time-consuming/totally boring. it's really a good reason to have canning parties. i could have really used some people to hang out with/talk to/entertain me while i had to continuously stir it.

stan ripped our front steps out in preparation for the porch he is going to be starting soon.

possibly some seitan smoking today as we totally have the mequite chips and it's so so nice out.

//everyday goes down in history//

finished bringing in the garden yesterday(yes,it's all in the house).

jake is weighing all of our jalapenos at work,since the only recipe that i have for jalapeno jelly gives weights.

we really should acquire a food scale.

the idea that i had for jam-jar-decorating was flawed,so now my brain will continue to brainstorm...

i keep forgetting that we still have a zillion apples,so probably apple butter will be happening.

oh! made the pumpkin pudding yesterday. it's okaaaaay. it called for brown sugar,which we didn't have,so,as with the cookies that we used to sell for money, we used regular sugar and molasses. it turned out too molasses-y. woops. well,it's probably good for me and my lack-of-iron thing...

pumpkin pie is next! i'm good at pie. wish that i still had the fall-cookie-cutters that mom sent to me in oregon,that got left there. i'll just add it to the tab that i am tallying of all of the stuff that bitch-face owes us that i will never see...man,i think the debates, last night, made me bitter at the world and now it will be part of my day today. SWEET!
EDIT(AND RANT):i was just thinking that it comes off as me just sounding bitter and SAYING that she owes us, but we actually sent her money because she said that she would send a bunch of our stuff that we accidentally left there,which she said that she would do...alas,i don't see almost anything...including jake's bmx bike. hope that whoever has it is appreciating that it's worth a bit of money...actually,i wouldn't be surprised if she sold it. that is now the second time that we have sent someone money to send stuff that we were big retards about leaving places,when we moved and not seen the stuff. i guess the lesson is to fucking stop moving...and that kami and marie are the same person. ugh.

i mean,i'm cold and on my way to actually starting my day.

i like pudding,pudding is good.

ok.
basically everything that is producing in our garden is done/done for.

stan's gonna start our porch and rototil the garden area next week.

i also asked him about the fruit trees that mom bought us and i guess the front yard(the part that is not garden-tastic) will be made into a fruit orchard. yes!

ok. now i will start/continue the jalepeno jam-making,squash soup preparation, seed gathering. the last thing being something else that stan un-confused me about...i guess some of the seeds that mom gifted us with were hybrid seeds,therefore they aren't intended to produce seeds..what?ever.

time for tomato sorting. and sunflower-seed gathering and pumpkin pie/pudding making. i like me some pudding.

//there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealing's done//

big frost last night...
gonna try to bring in everything from the garden that is left(yes,i know that i should have done it yesterday...)

there are still a ton of tomatoes and acorn squashies...

made some salsa yesterday.

saved a an incredibly cute field mouse from death. tony was just carrying it around. when he let it go,you could see her little heart going a mile a minute. i made jake take it into the woods. he said that she seemed more confident with being able to run away and that she probably didn't have an instant mousey heart-attack,like we predicted.

my brain is going a mile-a-minute. so happy that jake has a half-day today...!

pumpkin pie or pumpkin pudding? haven't made the pudding yet,so it's a gamble...
there's also a pumpkin-bread recipe that i want to try...we need more pumpkins!
pumpkinspumpkinspumpkinspumpkins.

//i suggested to him that America teemed with people who were homesick in bittersweet ways//

half a smarty-pants of tomatoes.

there's some blight on a couple of the plants,i dunno what that is about,but it's looking like it's happening to about a quarter of the zillion-too many plants that we have...there's still so many that i hope get ripe before snow happens

brought an acorn squash in. still about 8-10 left...maybe some squash soup in the next week...i could freeze that if it turns out to be an adequate amount.

mom bought us a peach and pear tree, we just have to figure out a time/place to put them in the ground...

had a bonfire 2 nights ago.

still waiting on pumpkins,but i don't really know why.
pie and jack o' lanterns. possibly some pumpkin pudding...

today is such a good day for pumpkin beer. very harvest-y. at least...cold.

still not enough ripe jalapenos for the jelly,but soon.

jake's been talking with some ladies who he works with about having a jam-making/booze/random project-y party and one of the girls wants to do a book-club,too. i hope that he nixed that,like i told him to...so many books to read already.

i feel like i keep repeating myself...time for more projects and less being lazy! too bad tv is so good...

um. gunshots. great. hunting is freaking awesome.

//coin collecting's a lot like life;it stopped being fun a long time ago.//

the apple-pie casserole actually turned out a-okay.

brought in almost all of the herbs and dried them. actually got a lot more than i thought would be there.

it's cold.

there are almost enough jalapenos to make the previously-mentioned jam.

a guy at jake's job keeps bringing him apples from his trees,so i think i'll try my hand at apple-butter this time.

pumpkin pie this week!(not pumpkin casserole.)

in the next couple of days,we're going to bring in the plethora of acorn squash that we grew and make an apple risotto, to be eaten out of acorn squash bowls.


there's also a history of wassail in the last cook-book that mom go us,and it's actually really interesting. i want to have a harvest-a-thon with, among other things, traditional wassail.

//so cook it up. cook it up. cook it up yall, cook it up. //

so yeah, i'm the special one who didn't check before starting,)as i am completely aware that you're supposed to do...)but,there was not enough margarine to make a full pie crust. so,because i already chopped all of the apples that we had(stupid,stupid,stupid...),i thought that i would simply make a bunch of little apple-tart-type things...wrong again!! essentially,they started melting,or doing something crazy/messy all over when i checked on them in the oven...so,basically i added more cinnamon/sugar and put them in a bordered dish,making a sort of apple crisp-casserole,if you will. we will see if it turns out at all,at all.

about another smarty-pants of tomatoes today.

maybe i could make some creepy halloween decoration with all of the dead mice/moles/voles that the cats keep leaving outside the door...i'm sure that it would smell amazing...

i had this idea about jam making,that involved decorating the jars,but i can't really explain it without hand motions and actually explaining it, because there are a lot of,"and then it goes like thiiiis's" so you all will just have to let me know who wants jam,then you will see...but it involves me being an amazing old-lady!

the nasturtium have started to seed and it's weird,totally not how i was expecting...like aliens...

i also brought in about 80% of the lettuce that is left/i'm not waiting to go to seed,and with the million(yes,1 ,million) nasturtium,i can have an intense salad later...

it's such a windy/cool/fall-y day. i heart.

//she could be a farmer in those clothes.//

clearly i'm a lazy, lying asshole,and i spent all day yesterday cleaning/awaiting the propane delivery/not really doing anything useful or productive...

today will equal

-garden
-more 'harvesting'
-pie making
-more cleaning.


we got the catalog i requested for greenhouse materials,yesterday...

how cool would it be to have a greenhouse? too bad it costs a lot.

i'm very set on getting an herb garden going indoors soon...the cats being my number one adversary.

it feels very fall and i like it.

lists where nothing gets crossed out...

letting tomato sauce cool before i freeze that shiiiiit.

yesterday was full of cleaning and random useless projects because it was (and is still) raining.

i'm not going (i probably will get bored and end up doing it) out there,in the rain, to check on everything.

as soon as october happens, then i can carve pumpkins for halloween(according to my own stead-fast rules)...there's one that i have deemed unworthy of jack-o'-lanterning and will make into a pumpkin pie...speaking of which,i think that we have enough apples left to make aother apple pie,so maybe i'll do that later,instead of venturing out to the garden in the rain...

how do people feel about jalapeno jelly? i've always been weirded out by it,and still am,mostly b/c of the jelly-y texture, but i tried it at the windmill place that mom & stan brought me to,and i liked the flavor,despite still not really liking the texture,but i might just make a little guy,seeing as our jalepenos are out of control,and i don't want to lose them all to winter...

pizza,booze fruit-leather f-ups.

yesterday we went to a coffee shop that is about 8 miles from here, right smack in the middle of nowhere. they had soymilk. it was interesting.

also tried my hand at making fruit-leather w/the dehydrator. fyi,brushing the trays w/oil is a must...woops! now i have to figure out how to get the wasted blackberry sludge off...i'm thinking that i'll just soak them and cry about the waste...

last night was a pizza night,since 'kitchen nightmares' was on,and gordon ramsey means pizza...right? we made the tomato sauce out of some of the tom. sauce that i had frozen a week or so ago...we also used a lot of hot peppers from the garden. yay. it was really good...the first time in awhile that we bothered makking the ricotta-like "cheese" to put on it,and it was pretty good,despite our lack of vegenaise and doing some pretty random substitutions.

we got a new home-brewing catalogue yesterday. do we want to make wine or beer? both take about a month...

today's projects will include: more tom. sauce,retrying fruit-leather and purhaps the 'harvest risotto' that we've been talking about trying.

a lot about jam,not so much about tomato sauce.

just went out to the garden(it's a lot warmer out there than it is in here,(yay for the summer,but i'm freezing right now)to see if there were more tomatoes. we have just under the necessary amount to do another batch of tom. sauce,for freezing.

this morning i threw a couple of containers of random stuff that i'd dehydrated last week,that apparently,i failed to dehydrate enough,so there was still moisture and therefore...mold(ew).

brought in more seeds from the dill plants. contemplating having a year-round herb garden,since trees that were too big/shady at this time last year are gone,therefore not killing plants that i set in windows. though,i still haven't figured out a cat deterent,yet. just this morning euronymous ate,and then threw up part of a flowering plant that i brought in b/c it's pretty and the frost that is now always a possibility,will killinate it.

have yet to bring in the seeds from the lettuce or broccoli...gonna give them a week to get good and seedy.

a couple more peppers.

one,yes one, tomato that was fully ripe...

hella acorn squash,but i brought one in yesterday that is scheduled for risotto(i'm thinking of adding an apple,cinnamon and cloves,to give it a more fall-y feel.) so the others can wait.

everyday i pass the pumpkins and can't wait to carve them/make pie! but it's too early.

still contemplating making blackberry jam out of the ones that i froze from this summer. it's a very small amount and think that i want to wait,get another berry so as to be able to make an adequate amount,(or a pie?!)(besides,we still have the jam i got from the farmer's market 2 weeks ago,plus 3 things of grape jam that i just made last week...) we need more toast...or crackers,or something. still in need of a much bigger pot for jam-making and homebreewing...

the rest of the day will be spent cleaning/brainstorming/x-files watching.

COME TO HAVE A GOOD TIME,STAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO...

reasons that i am doing this:
-to stop babbling about the dozen projects that i always have,and to record any mistakes,success,bad ideas...
-to stop taking up space in my personal blog,that is largely unread...
-to feel like i'm 'doing something,anything.'

reasons that you should continue reading:
-you like me
-you care about or are interested in reading about troubleshooting various project-y-type things that one who has not grown up rurally,but now lives in the middle of nowhere, finds herself doing.
-you like cats
-learning is fun...?

you should:
-introduce yourself,or let me know if you read this,so there is the possibility of networking,or sharing ideas or whatever.
-give me feedback. i can take criticism. i'm a pretty big douchebag as well. we can all be stupid hippies and grow together.